


What remains

by sultana



Category: Naruto
Genre: Anal Sex, Fantasizing, Grief/Mourning, Incest, M/M, Outdoor Sex, Substitution, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-07 10:24:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18871300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sultana/pseuds/sultana
Summary: Sai knows that Naruto is not Shin, but that doesn't change how much he reminds him of his brother. Or how Naruto reminded Sai of just how much he loved Shin.





	What remains

**Author's Note:**

> As always, please read the tags. Sai's feelings for Shin are unambiguously beyond usual brotherly feelings and there's a lot of projection and imagining on both sides.

He is not Shin. Sai knows this, always knew it. The constant talking, the determination, never giving in, never giving up, the self-sacrifice, it reminds him so much of Shin anyway. He's not supposed to miss his brother but he does. It's an ache in the heart he's not supposed to have.

He lies awake in the dark. Sai thinks of Naruto, thinks even more of Shin. The weight of his thoughts press down on his chest. He wishes Naruto hadn't reminded him of just how much he loved his brother, wishes he could feel it properly like he did before he died. It feels hollow, like there is a gap in him. He is not supposed to have gaps. He might be blank but he is complete.

There is a rustle of blankets, a mutter, and Naruto rolls straight out of his bed. Sai shuts his eyes, fakes sleep as Naruto gets up, his restlessness getting the better of him. He listens closely, hears his footsteps move into the trees. They fade away. He knows how sad, how lonely Naruto feels. He is surrounded by people who care about him, but the person he loves most is far away. Does he remind Naruto of him, the same way he reminds him of Shin? 

He wants to see him. He wants to see that grin, so close, an echo of his brother, the talking, that determination. He wants to chase the shadow of who he loved most, the only person he could love. Sai gets up and follows him.

He moves through the woods after Naruto. He is soft and silent, years of experience, and Naruto is too caught up in his own thoughts to hear him until he's close to him. Naruto jumps when he sees him, suddenly. He opens his mouth to start off a round of complaints when Sai reaches him, presses a finger over his lips to silence him. Naruto doesn't know why he's here, what he's thinking. Too innocent. Just like Shin would have been. He doesn't want the rest of the team to find them, to wake up because Naruto can't be silent. This is his chance to make up for it, for what he's lost. If Naruto must remind him, bring back his old dreams, then he can do this for him. 

"Sai?" For a moment he considers it. He dreamt of this, of a private moment alone with Shin, somewhere where their senpais wouldn't bother them, stop them. Shin would have looked at him like this, just like Naruto is, in silence. Confused, wondering what he was doing. His brother, getting him alone in private. Why? He reaches to him, pulls him closer, kisses him like he never kissed Shin when he was alive. Naruto objects against his lips, just like Shin would. So moral, so faithful. So sweet. Sai smothers it with his mouth. 

He pushes into his mouth, tastes him, keeps his eyes shut and imagines it's Shin. Naruto falters, almost pulls away but gives in. His tongue is reluctant at first, uncertain, then more confident as he probes his mouth, as Sai rubs up against him. Naruto shudders, his warmth presses up against him. Their cocks rub together, through the rough friction of the fabric. It makes Sai hard, swell against the pressure of Naruto's cock. He feels Naruto grow as he presses up, rubs himself against his cock eagerly. 

Sai lifts his hips up to his brother, offers himself. Opens his thighs, pulls down and off his trousers, exposing his cock and ass, unembarrassed by it even as Naruto flushes bright red, stares at his pale skin, how hard and eager he is. His thighs shift, wrap around Naruto's hips, cock hard and brushing against Naruto's shirt. He is ready to be fucked by him. To be fucked by an echo of his brother. A ghost. 

"Please." Shin, brother, nearly falls off his lips. Naruto is silent, uncharacteristically silent. His cheeks are flushed, eyes dazed, look right through Sai. They are seeing someone else. Is he seeing that traitor that he loves so much, would do anything for, in his dark eyes? "Fuck me."

He doesn't sound like Sasuke, and Naruto doesn't sound like Shin. But Naruto shudders like he is, shifts to hold onto his hips tightly, pins him up against a tree. Holds him up against it with longing, affection. He grinds up against Naruto, thinks of Shin with a twinge as Naruto grabs him, pulls him into position. Half his name whispered against his ear as Naruto pulls back. 

"Sa-".

He knows who he's really thinking of, but that's okay. His heart still aches for Shin, thinks of his grin, so close to Naruto's own, as he rolls his hips against Naruto. 

"Do it. Tell me all that nonsense you believe in while you fuck me." Naruto startles, objects that it's not nonsense. But Naruto does it anyway. A whisper in his ear. An endless stream of optimism he wants to believe in but can't as Naruto pulls his trousers down, ruts up against him, cock hard and slick against his own. He wishes he could believe it's his future, described to him by Shin, silver hair and kind eyes, a promise to him. Ignores it when Naruto calls him by the wrong name. 

Naruto even feels like he imagined Shin would, doing it like he's never used his dick before, like he has no idea what he's doing, that he can't believe Sai is letting him rut against him. Sai needs to guide him. He pulls out the oil he always kept stashed, for the day he was brave enough to confess, to tell his brother just how much he loves him. For this very day. He unscrews the cap, reaches down with oiled fingers to rub Naruto's cock.

Naruto groans, a break in his words, thrusts into his hand. Too eager, too keen to keep still. He squeezes his cock, pulls back and smiles, a real smile, at how he makes a little disappointed noise when he does. Sai won't keep him waiting, he is prepared for this. Practice makes perfect. Even after he forgot the cause, he still practised, still fucked himself with his fingers, stretched himself to be ready for Shin's cock, even if he couldn't remember the name, the feeling. Knew there was a reason why he needed it, craved it, made himself come from it, even when he wasn't supposed to need anything. Tonight is the night he finally fulfils his dream, finally has his brother fuck him like he's been ready to do for so long. Sai will make his brother so happy. He pulls his hips up and slides himself down onto his cock with ease.

Shin feels so good inside him. His cock fits inside him perfectly, just like he thought he would, tight and snug in his ass. So full, so complete. A little breathless "brother" escapes him. Sai is too filled up to see Naruto start at it, the rush of conflicting emotions in his eyes, before he decides to continue. Sai catches the end of it, Naruto deciding to go on. Sai's eyes are dark, filled with lust, half seeing Naruto but seeing Shin even more. Squirms on his cock until it's too much to resist, until Naruto pushes him up harder against the tree and pounds into him. Still not the right angle, still doesn't know the secret to a good fucking. Sai doesn't care, doesn't want him to stop. He holds on, fingers dig into Naruto's back, feels his face flush, feels emotion on it. Lets out a little moan when Naruto calls him by the wrong name anyway. Hears Shin instead, telling him how he'll bring him back, fix everything, save the world, change it for the better. How he loves him.

Oh, Shin. He wants to believe the world can be different, can be saved, not just stay like it is now. Please let him believe, one day. That want pushes up against his other wants, his thoughts of Shin, loving him, fucking him, as Sai comes on Naruto's cock, Shin's name on his lips. As Naruto comes with a different name on his lips, someone else's face in his mind. He holds onto Sai so tightly and Sai doesn't want him to let go. They are both chasing ghosts, want to keep their ghost pressed up to them for as long as possible. Sai is filled up with his brother's love. Naruto fills up Sasuke with his.


End file.
